How To: Deal with a difficult daughter-in-law

Having trouble coping with the fact your son picked a less than stellar choice to marry? Not too fond of your son's taste in women? That's his problem; don't make it yours.

You Will Need:
• Breathing techniques
• Cordial behavior
• Communication
• Tact
• A peaceful approach
• Dignity
• Humility

Step 1: Keep quiet
Keep quiet and respect his choice. Use breathing techniques to center and distance yourself, and learn to give up control. This is his choice; you have to live with it.

Step 2: Model cordial behavior
Model cordial behavior – be poised, polite, and mature – no matter how crass and clueless she might be.

Step 3: Communicate uncritically
Communicate clearly and uncritically to her that you will not indulge or take part in gossip or unkind comments, and that you don't want a fight.

Step 4: Address the problem
Address the problem with your son diplomatically, framing it as if asking his advice on whether you should broach it with her. He may elect to do it himself.

Step 5: Make peace
Attempt to make peace with her. Be creative in helping her feel like part of the family. You don't always get the daughter-in-law you dreamed of.

Step 6: Maintain your dignity
Maintain your dignity and positive attitude. Savor the few moments that are good and remember that not everyone is crazy about you all the time, either.

Trivia: Of a group of mothers and daughters-in-law who initially disliked one another, 10 percent never mended, 30 percent got over it quickly, and 60 percent got along later.