Silence your brood with a hair dryer and song

Is your new puppy keeping you up at night? Stop yelling at that poor whimpering pup. Remove the duct tape from his snout. Loathe as I am to admit it, sometimes love is the answer. Brilliant and simple. We present to you the real dog whisperer.

This remarkable video inspires us one step further. Now that dogs are treated more like humans (what with dog shrinks and puppy masseuses), what is the new age method to put a baby to sleep? How can our children remain one step ahead of the family dog? We are glad you asked. Watch this next video tutorial for the answer.

The "Vidal Sassoon" technique is simple genius. If you have a colic baby, you could rock him, sing to him, or try a warm bath. How quaint and old fashioned. Instead, try embracing technology and electricity to lure your children to sleep. We can't tell you the precise theory of why this works. It is as inexplicable as their tears.